


A New York Christmas

by Josif52



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24759244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josif52/pseuds/Josif52
Summary: Set towards the beginning of the five year gap at the end of season 6.   Still in New York and trying to erase the memories of Boston, Jack is forced to review the last couple of years when he bumps into an ex-boyfriend.
Relationships: Jack McPhee/Other(s)





	A New York Christmas

Outside it was cold. He could see that without needing to step outside. The edges of the windowpanes had the same frosted effect that department stores liked to fake on their own windows to get people into the Christmas spirit. Only this was not fake – it was most definitely real. He tapped his pencil against the desk as he continued to read from the thick, heavy book he expertly balanced in one hand. Like all his books recently, and none from his childhood, it looked well loved. He had often wondered why when talking about books the term well loved would generally indicate a bent spine, folded back pages, the odd accidental coffee patch, when if talking about something else, you would infer a pristine appearance - a completely unused façade. It was only once he first truly loved a book for the first time that he understood that it was not the tangible object that you would toss into your bag and pull out on the subway that was being loved, but instead it was each individual word. The way the words worked together, and made you feel things that may never have been experienced if formulated differently. It was the characters, the author’s voice, the way that as a reader you could actually be compelled to laugh out loud, or gasp in shock, or even shed a tear without even thinking beyond the page.

He honestly believed as a child, and even as a teenager, that he did not like books – that if it were possible to rent the movie then that would be the best option. He thought himself a slow reader – sticking only to the texts that teachers chucked at him, not even stopping to consider looking beyond that of the high school literacy store room. There was so much emphasis on classics – old plot lines that meant nothing to a 17 year old boy. That was until he picked up a book totally by chance, on a cold, rainy day when he had nothing better to do. It took a few days but he finished the whole book, without the threat of being tested on its contents. The funny thing was that he wished he was being tested – that he could tell everyone in the world about the book and the characters that were so real that he wished he knew them in his day to day life. He drove everyone crazy analysing it. Every meal time was a chance for him to update the non-readers as the developments and plot twists. It was not until he finished the book that he felt what he never expected: emptiness. The kind that comes from never wanting something to end. A feeling he had only ever associated with lost love, friendship, and the end of a chapter in his life. 

This made his decision seem obvious. The answer to the question that had been hanging over him ever since he left Boston seemed so transparent that he almost laughed out loud as he stood browsing the bestsellers list at his local bookstore. If he could help other confused teenagers understand the words that baffled them, and in turn help them understand themselves, then what more could he want? The months he spent wandering around New York like another lost soul, pretending to everyone that he was on a path – any path – were over. He knew what he wanted to do. He remembered the look on Jen’s face when he told her. It mirrored that of Grams’: pride, encouragement, and maybe a little surprise, though not enough to suggest for even a second that they were not totally supportive.

Jack smiled to himself as he scribbled something into the margin of his book. It was not anything profound, or even something that would make sense to anyone else who happened to pick up his book. To him however it made perfect sense. He was about to go back to his reading when a shiver ran through his body, causing him to look around the room for the nearest heater to which he could relocate. It was only then that he noticed that the room was totally empty except for himself and the librarian sat quietly at her desk near the door. She smiled at him having noticed his look of surprise.

“Everyone left about an hour ago, Dear,” she smiled, getting up from her desk. “Christmas party starts in the English building in about 10 minutes.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jack said, suddenly aware he was probably keeping her. “I didn’t notice the time.”

“You haven’t noticed much,” She laughed, “Your nose has firmly been in that book for a good couple of hours.” By now she was pulling a seat up next to Jack’s table. She must have been at least seventy and Jack never recalled her saying more than two words to anyone as they entered and left the library. There was never really any need for her to do much more than scan out books. It was a small library with a limited collection – the overflow from a bigger library in the main English building. That was why Jack liked it. It held all the books that people had not thought to read for a long time. “I think the boy next to you was trying to impress you with his vast array of Steinbeck scattered across his table,” she smiled.

Jack blushed slightly. Jen always teased him about how little he noticed of the real world once he had settled into a book. “Steinbeck?” Jack said, mainly because he did not know what else to say.

“Yes, Steinbeck – started with ‘Of Mice and Men’ just to be original,” she rolled her eyes, which made Jack laugh. “Don’t worry; he wasn’t really worth you noticing.”

Jack laughed again. Now he understood why she did not really speak to anyone. “You can’t knock ‘Of Mice and Men’ though,’ he defended. “It’s a classic.”

“That it is,” she smiled warmly. “Don’t get me wrong, I think the book is brilliant. The running theme of loneliness is heartbreaking, but most people who read it neglect to see that it is George we should be feeling sorry for; not Lenny. It is George who does not know how to live without Lenny – not the other way round.”

“I think that’s very true,” Jack agreed graciously. 

“Of course any 14 year old with any common sense could tell you that, right?” she smiled, standing from her chair. “Earnest Hemingway, however,” she said, glancing down at the book in Jack’s hand, “I don’t see a lot of people picking that up.”

“I think you should give everything a chance once, don’t you?” Jack replied.

“Of course, Dear – absolutely,” she agreed, her eyes lighting up as she did so. “Just don’t forget that it is the festive season, and that,” she pointed, “’A Farewell to Arms’ is not what I would pick out as a light-hearted holiday read.”

“I guess I like that love can bloom even amongst those who seem fairly normal and insignificant – and even I guess highly flawed, even in the hell of war.”

“Yes, even we imperfect creatures need love – whether due to the circumstance we find ourselves in, or despite them.”

“If you’re going to ruin the end for me, please don’t,” Jack smiled, warmly.

“Saving it as a little Christmas gift to yourself?”

“Maybe.”

With that the woman headed back in the direction of the desk. “If you wouldn’t mind,” she said, still walking away, “I would quite like to shut up early. I think the weather is going to take a turn and I would like to get on the subway before half of Manhattan leave their Christmas cocktail parties.”

“Of course,” Jack said, starting to collect his things together. “No problem.”

“Thank you, Dear.”

Dumping his things in his bag he stood from his seat, feeling his knee click as he did so, telling him that he had been sat next to the cold window way too long. “I hope you have a nice Christmas,” he said as he made his way towards the door.

“You too, Dear,” she smiled. “And if you want any books kept by for you all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas.”

“You off to that party then?” she asked as he was walking through the door.

He turned back towards her shaking his head. “I wasn’t planning on it. I’d rather get home before it starts snowing.”

“Good Good,” she smiled. “You don’t want to bump into Steinbeck boy and listen to him pity poor Lenny for an hour.”

“Good evening,” Jack laughed, as he left the building into the cold.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The difference in heat inside and out was so great that the second Jack stepped foot in the Lindley household his cheeks shone red and hands felt like they were being held over the stove. Grams had been telling him for weeks that he needed to wrap up more when venturing outside. The elderly seemed to have an acute sense as to when the weather was about to turn. Knowing this had not made him pay attention to Grams’ advice – and he regretted it every time.

Walking into the kitchen he found a plate of food that had been left next to the cooker, with a note from Grams indicating that it was his. He returned to the hallway to dump his bag and jacket before again heading back to the food.

“Jen!” he called, not waiting for a response before picking up his plate and heading straight for her room. Not bothering to knock he walked in.

“Jackers,” she smiled in greeting to him from her seated position on the floor, holding ribbon between her teeth as she attempted to wrap the gift in front of her.

“You need help with that?” he asked, sitting down on the bed, “Because I think most stores offer a gift wrapping service – a couple more dollars, but things don’t end up looking like they’ve been wrapped by a toddler.”

“Ha ha ha…Aren’t you funny,” she groaned sarcastically. “I believe in the personal touch.”

Jack smiled to himself as he started to eat his dinner, watching as Jen continued to struggle with the wrapping.

“Hang on,” Jen said, looking up at her friend. “I thought you were supposed to be out tonight?”

“I didn’t really feel like it,” Jack explained as he carried on eating.

“Why not? It’s Christmas. Don’t tell me you’ve turned into the Grinch.”

“Not the Grinch,” Jack laughed. “He wanted to ruin Christmas for everyone. I’m just feeling indifferent. I am far more of a scrooge.”

“Either way, Jack, I don’t think either are particularly good things.”

“I’m not going round shouting ‘bah-humbug’ or hitting children with my cane; I’m just not in the mood to spend the evening at another pretentious bar with a bunch of self-important English lit students.”

“You do know that you are one of those students, right?” Jen asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I am and I’m also not,” Jack muttered between mouthfuls. 

“You’re making no sense.”

Jack rested his plate down on the edge of Jen’s bed and shifted into a more comfortable position. “They are just so… they think they are so superior. You cannot have a conversation with anyone without them trying to prove to you that they know a million times more than you do. At first I tried to play along, but it got exhausting, and totally pointless. Most of what they said was either so obviously taken from their high school study aids, or just plane stupid.”

“Maybe they are just trying to impress you,” Jen suggested. “The amount of books you’ve been getting through they probably think you’ve been going at that pace since you were six.”

“Maybe I should introduce them to Andie,” Jack smiled, “She could talk at them until she went blue in the face.” 

“Do you really dislike them that much?”

“I don’t dislike them. I just want to get on with what I’m doing and not have a re-enactment of Boston.”

“As grown up as we thought we were then, we are more grown up now, and in five years time we will look back on today and laugh at how naïve we were. The same things will not happen again, because we are not the same people; we are not in the same place, and more so, I won’t let it.”

“I know,” Jack agreed, picking at his dinner again. “I just don’t want to force myself to fit in somewhere that I know I don’t, when I already have everything that I need. I just want to get on with things my own way. I have a family here. It’s not like I’m going home to a cold, empty dorm room like the others.”

Jen smiled, satisfied by his answers, and started back with her wrapping up.

“So, what have you got me for Christmas?” she asked.

“Scrooge doesn’t believe in buying gifts,” he answered simply.

“Well, he better change his beliefs before Christmas morning otherwise he’ll be in some serious pain. Not to mention hungry; because I will withhold food if need be.”

“Calm down, Jen,” Jack laughed, “I got your gift months ago.”

“Lies. I know all your hiding places and I haven’t found anything that remotely looks like it could be for me.”

“You’ve been snooping through my stuff?” Jack asked, shocked.

“You have no secrets from me,” she smiled. “No, okay, I haven’t been snooping really. Just looked in the really obvious places: under the bed; in the closet.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“You’re the one lying to me.”

“Okay, so I don’t have your gift exactly. But I know what I’m getting.”

“Hmmm… better be good, Jackers. Of else I’ll…” she trailed off not sure what to threaten him with.

“Of else you’ll invade my privacy?” 

“Yeah, something like that,” she smiled as she continued to wrap. “Just remember you only have a couple more days. You have better get your act together.”

“Tomorrow, I promise,” Jack rolled his eyes before returning his attention to his dinner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One of the problems with New York, regardless of the time of year, was that a quiet coffee shop did not exist. Sometimes you were lucky just to be able to get to the counter, and even then you would undoubtedly be stuck behind a tourist who could not decide between a latte or frappucinno. The introduction of festive flavours and the recent threat of a snowfall just made it worse. So when Jack had stumbled across a table in a quiet corner of a nearby Starbucks he had been so astounded that giving up his table after only one drink was simply out of the question. It seemed like a great excuse to put off his Christmas shopping.

He knew that if he took all stereotypes onboard that he should be amazing at Christmas shopping – especially when Jen was the intended recipient. He should be able to walk straight into Macy’s or Bloomingdales, weave seamlessly past other shoppers, and walk directly in the direction of the perfect gift as though it was marked out with giant lit up arrows. Unfortunately this was not the case. He knew time was running out too- that just made it worse. The pressure of the proverbial ticking clock hanging over him just made every gift idea his brain managed to conjure up, regardless of how awful, flow immediately from his mind. It was probably just as well – most the ideas were just boring gifts better suited for a distant cousin who you were told the day before Christmas Eve of their intention to come and visit. Definitely not Jen-worthy.

Jack had to re-read the page he was on. All the thoughts of Jen’s present rendered him unable to absorb even the shortest of dialogue between the characters. He wondered how much of the book he had actually taken in today. Even though he had barely lowered the book from his face to go to the counter for re-fills he could not remember what had happened within the last few pages. He was just grateful it was not a college text. 

He was flicking back through the pages, trying to find the part that he actually remembered reading, when he became aware of a figure standing in front of him. He assumed that it would be someone asking to the free chair next to him, so without looking up he reached out and pushed the chair towards them in offering. It was only when he became aware of the figure sitting down, rather than walking away, that he finally looked up.

“To be honest I wasn’t sure it was you at first,” the man said. “I don’t think I ever saw you with a book.”

Jack looked at the man; stunned. He went to talk but became acutely aware that even though his mouth was indeed open, there were no words coming out.

“To be honest I wasn’t sure you actually could read,” the man continued in the same persistent way that Jack remembered him doing. He smiled softly, as though he had sympathy for Jack’s shock. “I figured you’d notice me sat over there and come and say hi, or at least awkwardly pretend you hadn’t noticed me as you made a swift exit. But after the third time you walked past me I realised that I hadn’t even appeared on your radar.”

“David,” Jack said, before trailing off.

“Oh good, I was worried that you’d forgotten my name for a moment,” he said, trying to hide a slight blush. “Just the way college goes, right? Too much beer; too many men.”

“Of course I remember your name,” Jack said, slightly annoyed. “It’s not been that long since you dumped me.”

David sat back in his seat and bit his lip slightly – his eyes fixed on the way Jack’s fingers clenched his book hard. “I was hoping you’d forgotten that bit.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Seemingly not.”

“Okay,” David sighed. “It took me three coffees to work out whether or not I should come over and say hi and I guess I made the wrong decision. I blame it on the caffeine.” Standing up he pushed the chair back under the table. “I’m sorry. Just pretend the last two minutes of your life never happened.”

Jack’s eyes stared at the back on David’s head as be walked away. “David!” he called after him – standing up as though that would help his voice travel.

David turned back towards him and raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry – sit back down.”

David took a few steps back towards him so he would not have to shout over other people. “If you’re telling me to sit because you’ve thought up a few sarcastic jabs or insults to throw my way then I ask that you show me some mercy. Consider this my white flag being waved. Let me walk away with a little dignity.”

“Just sit down,” Jack said, unable to hide a slight smile. “I don’t have the energy to come up with something nasty enough to make myself feel better.”

David looked at the chair in front of him suspiciously for a second, as though Jack may pull it away at the last second. Eventually he sat back down.

“Why are you here?” Jack finally asked.

“I wanted a coffee,” David answered, knowing that was not what Jack meant.

“I’m starting to regret telling you to sit down.”

David simply smiled. “Family Christmas.”

“Your parents live in Chicago,” Jack said confused.

“True,” David replied.

“It snows in Chicago and I’m pretty sure that I have it good authority that you can also get coffee there. What can you get here that you can’t get at home? Unless of course Santa has decided to totally bypass the Windy City this year?”

“That’s exactly it. The reindeers just can’t tolerate the wind. It’s why Rudolf’s nose is so red. Blizzards just don’t make good flying conditions.”

“I’m going to try this again,” Jack said, sitting back in his chair. “David, why are you in New York?”

“As I said: family Christmas. My Aunt and Uncle moved to the city a few years back. I guess it was our turn to come here.”

“Oh, okay,” Jack replied, surprised slightly by David’s straight forward answer.

“You seem disappointed,” David smiled. “Should I have said that I came here looking for you? That it just wouldn’t be Christmas unless I got to see you?”

Jack starred at him for a moment, trying to work out what was going on in the head of the other man. One of the things that he had always liked about David was that even though he was totally comfortable with him, he never really knew what was going on in his mind. “That would be a pretty creepy response seeing as I haven’t seen you for eighteen months.”

“Yeah, it would,” David laughed.

They sat silently for a few moments. Jack was not too sure what was supposed to happen now. “Not much of a family Christmas if you’re wandering Manhattan alone,” Jack finally said.

“Are you offering to be my guide?”

“No, actually,” Jack laughed. “I was just wondering what you’ve done to make you’re family not want to be around you?”

“Oh, well, my parents are watching my little cousin in her Christmas show. I managed to get myself out of that thinking that my other cousin would want to show me around the city. He goes to NYU and it seems as though he would rather go out with his friends than take me to the Empire State Building. According to him it’s going to be ‘fucking freezing’ up there and he has better things to do.”

Jack laughed. “He’s right.”

“Maybe so, but it’s not really my fault that the first time I come to New York it’s cold.” 

“Are you telling me you’ve never been up the Empire State Building?” Jack asked in shock.

“Never even seen it… well apart from over the tops of buildings.”

Jack stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket and scarf. “Wrap up warm.”

“What? Where are you going?” David asked confused, still sat at the table.

“You cannot come to New York, especially at Christmas, and not even see the Empire State Building. Please tell me you’ve at least seen the tree at the Rockefeller Center?”

David looked at him blankly.

“Get a move on. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

“Are you serious?” David asked, scrambling to put his coat on.

“Come on... before I change my mind.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack wrapped his scarf tighter and began to wish he had listened to Grams when she had told him he should wear a hat when outdoors. He remembered Jen pulling a few different ones onto his head and then standing back to inspect how silly they looked. He argued that he did not intend to be outside long enough to warrant needing one. After all it was never that far to walk to the nearest subway station. He had not known then that he would be stood on the top of the Empire State Building two days before Christmas while the sky above him looked as though it was going to give the gift of a blizzard at any moment. The clouds looked so low and heavy that Jack raised his arm to see if he could touch one.

He would not have been too surprised if he actually managed to grab a handful of cloud. He was pretty sure he was in a dream. There was no other way to explain his current whereabouts and the present company. Being in New York had almost made him forget about Boston – as though he had moved straight there from Capeside. Boston was a blur. So too was everyone he had left behind there.

“You look like you belong here,” David said as he walked up next to him and placing his hands on the cold railing that Jack had his back against.

“How so?” Jack asked confused.

“Well for one, everyone else up here is actually looking out at the view. You’re stood with your back to it,” David joked.

Jack laughed as he turned round to face the same view that David was taking in – even if that did mean the wind whipping his face, making his cheeks red and sore. “I shouldn’t take it for granted. It is an amazing view.”

“How many times have you come up here?” 

“I don’t know,” Jack shrugged. “When I first moved to New York I think I came up here about twice each week.”

“Really? Why?”

“It felt safer than being down there,” Jack said, looking over the edge to see the Christmas shoppers still on the streets below. “Down there everything moves so fast and people are so sure of where they’re going – whether it’s to work, or lunch or the theatre. It was easy to get caught up in it all and get lost. Up here everyone down there looks as small as I felt when I was wandering around. Up here people take the time to stop. I think after leaving Boston in the way I did, I just needed time to stop and think.”

David turned his gaze from the building ahead to look at Jack. “You really are different.”

Jack, knowing he was being looked at, kept his eyes ahead. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Good. I mean the old Jack would have probably given me some of the same tour that you did today. Christmas lights, Macy’s window displays, candy at Dylan’s, top of the Empire State Building.”

“I still can’t believe you haven’t done those things yet,” Jack interrupted, feeling a little uncomfortable.

“But the old Jack probably wouldn’t have shown me the pieces of the Berlin Wall on 53rd Street, or the gun sculpture at the UN building. I don’t think he would have spent the whole day wandering around New York with someone he had hoped he would never see again, just because he wanted to show me the top of the Empire State Building at ‘the most beautiful time of day’,” David said, quoting and earlier conversation.

“Did you really think I used to be that dumb and shallow?” 

“I never thought you were dumb or shallow. Well, maybe a little shallow,” David smiled. “But not so much that it bothered me.”

“I was deep. I’ve always been deep,” Jack protested.

“Maybe so. But your college record seemed to say otherwise.”

“That’s a little unfair.”

“You hung around with a group of perfectly formed individuals who, mostly, were more concerned with their own issues than anything else going on in the world. All the talk of ‘soul mates’ and ‘finding yourselves’ – it was like something out of a teen soap opera. One night stands, frat parties, crushes on tutors…”

“Okay, I get the picture. But surely that has more to do with being nineteen than being shallow. I admit my time in Boston was not the most productive, and doubt my parents were the proudest out there when it came to my grades, but I did the best I could. I wasn’t the same person when I left Boston as I was when I arrived. I may have been misguided, but Shallow? Really?”

“Come on. Cut yourself some slack. Anyone as good looking as you has to be a little bit shallow.”

Jack shook his head slightly, trying to remove all memories of Boston from his mind – including how easy it became toward the end to just reach out and take hold of David’s hand as they were walking home, or the nights they cuddled closer together when watching a movie as the snow came down outside. He cleared his throat in an attempt to say something – anything to cure the awkward silence.

“Maybe I was the shallow one,” David blushed.

“David, I think I should probably explain that the only reason why today occurred was because I could not let you come all the way to New York and not experience it properly. Not at Christmas.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not assuming today means anything more than you showing pity on someone whose family had better things to do.”

Jack backed away from the railing, as though he had just remembered that he was a long way up from the ground. “Can we not do this?” he asked as he paced slightly – glad that most people had left the viewing deck. “Can we not ruin today by having this conversation. Whatever you think of me, or thought of me, or how much I never expected to see you again, today has been nice. I’ve had fun.”

David paused before talking, wondering what he should say in return. “I’ve had fun too.”

“Okay then,” Jack said. “Good.”

“Good,” David nodded in agreement.

“Can we get down from here now? It’s freezing!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was quite unusual to get home and for it to be quiet. As much as he loved living with Jen and her family, it was nice to have his own space too. His relationship with Grams was as good as if she was actually his grandmother, but it was not as easy with Jen’s mom. It was not easy for any of them when it came to her, but she was trying her best.

Jack went to the kitchen, looking for anything to warm him up. He still felt like a snowman – the cold going all the way through to the bone. As he located some soup and placed it on the stove to warm, there was still no sign of the Lindley women. He assumed Grams had managed to rope them into helping out at the church. Showing David around the city all day had to be worth it for missing out on that. 

He placed the bowl on the table and sat down, warming his hands over the heat of the soup. So far he had managed to blank out the day he had had, but now, sitting in the quiet he wondered what on earth had happened. All he had wanted to do this morning was go somewhere quiet and read his book for a while before having to face the last of his Christmas shopping.

Suddenly a shiver went down his spine. “Shit,” he said as he jumped up from the table. He glanced at the clock on the wall. The shops would all be closed and he had totally forgotten Jen’s gift.

He tried to think what he had bought of other people, hoping he could pass that off as a present for Jen. He knew he was not going to be seeing Andie for at least another week which would give him time to replace her gift, but Jen would not be impressed with the sweater he had planned for his sister.

Without thinking he pulled out his cell phone and dialled a number that he had not used in a long time.

“Hello?”

“David, it’s Jack,” he said quickly.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“I forgot to buy Jen’s Christmas present and it’s all your fault.”

“My fault?” David laughed. “How so?”

“I was supposed to go shopping today and I totally forgot.”

“If you’re hoping that I have invented a time machine in the last eighteen months then I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“You have to help me tomorrow. I have to get something and it has to be good.”

“How am I going to help?”

“I am freaking out. Do you know how dead I will be on Christmas morning if I haven’t got anything for her? Just thinking about it is making my heart palpitate. I’m going to take one step into Macy’s and have a heart attack.”

“Are you asking me to go shopping with you?” David asked.

The phone line went quiet for a moment. “Would you?” Jack finally asked. “Please?”

“Well, I need to pick up a few last minute things, so I guess I could.”

“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver. I owe you one.”

“Actually, I think it’s me that owes you, so we can call it evens.”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“I’ll meet you in Times Square at ten?” David suggested.

“Sure, I’ll give you a call when I’m there.”

“Perfect.”

Jack paused for a moment. “You deleted my number,” he said softly.

“What?” David said confused.

“You didn’t know who I was when I called,” Jack explained, feeling a little hurt.

“I guess I never expected to hear from you again,” David said honestly. “But I’ll save it now. I won’t make the same mistake tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Jack said, not sure what else he could say. He wished he had never said anything. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

Jack stopped pacing and sat back down. He rested his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yes, you are,” Jen said, walking into the kitchen.

Jack looked up, shocked. “What are you doing here? I thought you were out?”

“No, I fell asleep watching a movie in my room. Luckily I heard you talking and it woke me up.” She sat at the table next to him. “Who were you talking to?” she asked, taking a better look at him. “Geez, Jack, you look awful.” She touched the back of her hand against his cheek. “You’re freezing. Where have you been?”

“Everywhere,” Jack groaned, finally getting round to eating his soup. “It’s been a long day.”

“Picking up some unexpected Christmas gifts?” Jen smiled, looking around to see if there were any bags.

“Not exactly.”

“Where have you been all day?” 

“I bumped into someone. Ended up showing them around the city.”

“Are you being cryptic on purpose?”

Jack sat back in his chair and looked at Jen, wondering if she knew more than she let on. As far as he knew CJ he may have said something.

“It was David,” he said, and waited for a response.

“David? As in Boston David? What is he doing in New York?”

“Yes, Boston David. He’s visiting his aunt and uncle for Christmas.”

“Give me just a moment. I was not expecting that. Is this good or bad?”

“It’s neither,” Jack said casually as he continued to eat. “It just is what it is.”

“Okay, I think the cold has got to your brain. You’re not making any sense.”

“Why does it have to be good or bad? Why can’t it just be another thing? I bumped into him, we talked and he mentioned he wanted to go to the Empire State Building so we went.”

“The Empire State Building?”

“What?”

“A little romantic don’t you think?” 

“Not at all. It wasn’t like the moment at the end of ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. I don’t know about you, but my idea of romance does not involve being surrounded by hundreds of tourists in sub-zero degree weather.”

“Unless it’s snowing of course.”

“Well, yeah, snow is romantic,” Jack laughed, “but there was no snow and no romance. It was like catching up with an old friend.”

“An old friend you’ve seen naked.”

“So like you and Dawson?” Jack asked.

“Good point well made,” Jen surrendered.

“Thank you.”

“So why are you an idiot?” Jen asked, going back to what she had walked in on.

“I just forgot to do something today that I really needed to do.”

Jen looked at him sternly. “You better have my Christmas present sorted.”

“Of course I do,” Jack lied. “It’s all under control.”

“You don’t fill me with confidence, Jackers.”

“You don’t have to worry.”

“It better be good, Jack. Otherwise you’re going to feel awful come Christmas day.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack stood in Time Square watching all the tourists walk by. He looked down at his phone and wondered whether this was a good idea. He had not called David yet to let him know he had arrived. He was considering calling and telling him not to worry about it. He had spent half the night fixated on the fact that David had deleted him from his cell – something he had never felt the need to do himself. By four in the morning he was more annoyed with himself for not being able to let it go than the actual act itself. Because of this Jack had decided that seeing David again probably would not be the best idea.

As he went to dial David’s number and tell him that he would not be meeting him after all, he saw him in the distance, heading straight towards him.

“I think it may actually be colder than it was yesterday,” David said as he approached Jack.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about this. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do. If you don’t want to be here I don’t mind.”

“Are you serious? It’s 10am on Christmas Eve. If I didn’t want to be here I would have phoned you from the warmth of my bed and told you I wasn’t coming.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Jack said, looking anywhere apart from directly at the other man.

“You look really uncomfortable, Jack, and I’m not really too sure why. You’re the one who invited me and now you look like you wish I hadn’t come.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s the second time you’ve apologised in twenty seconds,” David said bluntly.

“I know. Just ignore me. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’m just a little under the weather and I’m stressed about Jen’s gift. It’s not you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Let’s grab a coffee to go so we don’t freeze to death– my shout, and then get on with this shopping. The sooner we start the sooner it will be over with. Hopefully.”

David stared at him as though he was looking out for a crack in Jack’s demeanour. “So, any idea what you’re getting Jen?”

Jack shook his head, “I am a dead man.”

David laughed. “Jen is your best friend. She should be the easiest person to shop for.”

“No, my dad is the easiest person to shop for: socks.”

“Jack, there are times like this where I am totally, unequivocally, convinced that you’re straight.”

“You’re not the first person to say that,” Jack laughed as they started heading down the street.

“Well, I guess I know better,” David smiled.

“Is that really something we’re going to discuss?” Jack laughed.

“Oh come on,” David said, stopping and looking around the street. “Look at everyone here. There are probably thousands of people out today. How many of them have you seen naked?” 

Jack could not help but laugh. “You’re as bad as Jen. Maybe you should be picking her gift out.”

“Finally – a laugh,” David teased. “Just get over whatever awkwardness is going on here. Yes we dated, we’ve slept together, and then we split up. Who cares why. It happens all the time. Okay, it may not be that normal to bump into your ex in a city miles away from where you met, especially at Christmas, but when has anything in your life been normal?”

“I guess.”

“So can we just have a bit of fun today?”

“I think I can manage that,” Jack agreed.

“Good; because I have loads of shopping to do too. I need you as much as you need me.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack had not seen David for ages. He was pretty sure the last time he had seen him a girl wearing fairy wings was trying to get him to try a new perfume. He had made the mistake of lingering near the counter too long while trying to decide if it would be an appropriate present for Jen. The sales clerk took it as an invitation to pounce. David had taken the brunt of her attention so Jack could delve further into the store on his treasure hunt.

He remembered all the reasons why he hated shopping. As he was pushed a shoved, and had items taken from his hands by desperate late minute shoppers, all he could hear in his mind was Andie’s voice telling him the importance of being well organised. He wished it could have been like when they were younger and he could get her to do all his shopping.

He spotted a circular rack of sweaters and had to fight the urge to climb inside and curl up in a ball like he did when he was a kid. Maybe while hiding in there he would have an epiphany and know exactly what to get Jen. Or maybe David would eventually find him in a panic like his mom always did, and he would be so relieved to have found him that he would find Jen’s gift for him.

“Looks like you’re having fun,” David said sarcastically.

“I’d rather be walking across burning coals.”

“That can be arranged,” David smiled.

“Where did you get all those bags from?” Jack asked, looking at the numerous bags in David’s hands. 

“I told you – I had shopping to do too.”

“Had? Past tense?” Jack said. “You’re already done?”

“All done,” David replied, lifting the bags up, feeling slightly smug.

“That is it. I give up,” Jack groan heading for the exit.

“You can’t give up,” David followed. “Your life depends on it.”

“If this is what my life is like then I can’t wait until death,” he said, forcing the door open, breathing in fresh air for the first time in hours.

“You’re so morbid and dramatic,” David said, wrapping his jacket around himself.

“Can you be both at the same time?” Jack asked.

“Of course you can. You look up morbidly dramatic and you’ll see a picture of yourself.”

“Just because you’ve put those two words together it doesn’t make it correct.” Jack gave David an unimpressed look and headed around the corner and leant against the wall. “I need to find somewhere new to live. I can’t go home empty handed.”

“You’ve got plenty of time.” David looked at his watch and pulled a slightly concerned face. “You’ve got four hours before the stores close.”

“Kill me now.” 

“Could you not give her one of the books you’ve read? Write a note on the inside cover and make it out to be a truly sentimental gift?”

“I can’t do that,” Jack groaned.

“Sure you can. Just pick your favourite book and wrap it in a scarf or a sweater or something,” he suggested.

“I tried that for her birthday,” Jack admitted. “She threw the book at my head.”

David could not help but laugh at the imagery. “Okay, so you have two choices. We can keep looking or we can check you in to a homeless shelter. The choice is yours.”

“Neither sounds particularly pleasurable. “

“Jack, this is Christmas. It is not about pleasure. It is about spending a fortune on useless gifts, lining the pockets of the stores, keeping the economy going for a few more months and ultimately stuffing your face with food while trying not to start a family argument.”

“Whoa, where’s your Christmas spirit gone?” Jack laughed.

“I have plenty of spirit. I’m just realistic about it.”

“No wonder Santa stopped coming to Chicago.”

“And what will Santa be bringing you?” David asked. 

Jack thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know. I mean I didn’t bother sending him a letter this year if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I guess there are no books left that you haven’t read. The poor elves have to write you a new one.” 

“Do you think I’m a total nerd?” Jack asked. “I don’t spend my whole life with my head in a book.”

“I don’t know. From what I saw of you yesterday, and what you spoke about, it seems as though you do. Unless of course there’s some hot New York man that you’ve omitted from conversation?”

“No, there’s not, but that doesn’t mean I have no life,” Jack protested.

“Maybe so, but other than Jen and her charming grandmother, the only other people you have mentioned are characters from the novels you’ve read.”

“That’s not true,” Jack argued. 

“It’s not a criticism. I’m just saying that you’re living in one of the greatest cities in the world and it seems like you’re trying to escape.”

“It’s not that,” Jack said softy.

“What is it then?”

“I’m spent two years in Boston and I don’t think I really achieved anything other than pretty much becoming a total ass. I mean, when I met you, I wasn’t quite so bad, but New York is a fresh start. I just want to get on with what I need to do here and get back on track.”

“I don’t remember the Jack I knew being an ass. I think you’re way too hard on yourself. You can let your hair down every so often and not replay your first year in Boston. I think you remember it very differently from everyone else.”

“Maybe so. But look at my life now. I didn’t exactly make any lasting relationships in Boston. The only people in my life are those I knew from before college.”

“Maybe that’s because they were the only ones smart enough to stick around.”

“David, why did you delete me from your life?” Jack asked.

“It wasn’t as simple as deleting you from my life.”

“Really? Because it seemed that way.”

“Nothing is ever as simple as it seems,” David said, stepping away from wall. “Jack, can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“You only have 3 hours and 50 minutes before your life is officially over. Let’s keep going.”  
<[center>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Last time Jack had looked at his watch it was 7:30. He had been walking around Manhattan for over nine hours, with David following closely behind. Still he had nothing. Neither man had spoken for sometime. One would take the lead walking down the street and into stores they had not tried yet, and when he was close to giving up entirely the other man would take the lead without either of them needing to say a word.

“Why can’t I just buy her socks?” Jack asked, hoping David would agree that was a good idea.

“Unless Jen is over the age of fifty or has a sock fetish I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Jack stopped walking and blew into his hands in the hope that maybe they would thaw out enough for some feeling to come back. “I think it’s time to call it a day,” he said dejectedly.

“What?” David asked, putting down his bags. “There’s still time.”

“Look around, David,” Jack said, gesturing. “We’ve walked so far that there aren’t even any stores around here.”

“There’s a Starbucks. Just get her a gift card.”

“And you thought socks were a bad idea?” Jack laughed. “I really appreciate your help today but I think I just need to face facts that I’m not going to find anything.”

“What are you going to do?” David asked.

“Go home and get Grams to pray for my soul,” Jack smiled. 

“It doesn’t feel right that we give up now.”

“I have wasted way too much of your day. I’m sure you have far better things to be doing on Christmas Eve than trying to help me.”

“Well I did owe you one.”

“Consider your debt paid. I’m really sorry. Go home, warm up and enjoy Christmas.”

David shook his head “We must keep going. I’m not giving up now. You never know what’s round the corner.” 

Jack laughed, “Actually I do know what’s round the corner. If you go left there’s another Starbucks, a Duane Reade and a hotdog vendor who is probably packing up for the night. If you go right there’s a Mexican restaurant, a bookstore and a tiny little family run antique jewellers, or something.”

David stared at Jack in disbelief.

“What?” Jack asked, confused.

“Turn right!” David snapped, grabbing his bags and dashing to the corner.

Suddenly realising how stupid he had been Jack dashed in the same direction. “Do you think it will still be open?” 

“You better start praying,” David replied as he turned the corner. “I think I see it.”

“Are the lights still on?” Jack called.

“Yes, I think so.”

They both picked up their pace and ran to the door, just as the owner was closing it.

“Sorry, boys, we’re closing now,” said the older gentleman with a thick grey beard, as he pushed the door closed, leaving only a small crack for him to talk through.

“We’re too late,” Jack groaned, putting his head in his hands.

“Don’t give up now,” David said before turning to the owner. “I know you’re closing and you probably want to get home and start your Christmas celebrations with your family, but this idiot here,” he said, pointing to Jack, “has not bought a gift for his best friend. And I promise you that if you don’t have mercy on him you will be reading about his murder come December 26th. And she will be totally justified in killing him because if you don’t please let us in, he will be forced to give her the last lonely pair of socks hanging on the rail in Gap. After all this time of year is all about good will to all, and I can guarantee that if you let him in for just ten minutes he will buy something. Not only will you be saving his life and making a girl very happy, you will probably get away with marking your prices up by at least ten percent. He is desperate after all.”

“You’re a funny boy,” the shopkeeper laughed. 

“Is that a good or bad thing?” Jack asked, “Because I can make him go away.”

“I once bought my wife socks for Christmas,” the man said slowly, as though he was thinking. “I didn’t get any dinner.”

“You got off lightly,” Jack smiled.

“I did indeed,” the man smiled back, opening the door. “You have ten minutes.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“We did it!” Jack exclaimed as they left the store.

“It only took ten hours,” David laughed.

“I can’t believe you managed to get him to let us in.”

“You just have to have faith in Christmas magic. Didn’t you know that everyone is allowed one Christmas wish? And Christmas wishes have to come true.”

“That was your Christmas wish?” Jack asked. “That’s pretty sad.”

“Well I didn’t make a wish last year so I’m hoping that I had an extra one to use this year.”

“Is that how it works?”

“I hope so.”

“You have something else to wish for?” Jack asked.

“I’m not sure,” David answered.

“Come on, there must be something that you want? Everyone has something.”

“You’re full of questions aren’t you?”

“I think it’s only fair that it’s my time to quiz you now. Now that I know I’m going to live beyond tomorrow I have all sorts of things I want to ask.”

“Well it was curiosity that killed the cat.”

“Lucky I’m not a cat then, isn’t it?”

David could only laugh in response.

“Come on – I want to know your Christmas wish,” Jack insisted.

David stopped walking as they reached the corner. “There probably is something I need to wish for. Ordinarily I wouldn’t say it out loud but it does kind of involve you.”

“Me?” Jack asked, wondering what it could be.

“I guess I’d wish for your understanding,” David said seriously.

“Understanding?”

“Though I haven’t exactly lied to you, I have misled you.”

“Misled me?” Jack repeated. “What are you talking about?”

“Jack, I live in New York.”

Jack went silent and was trying to work out what on earth David was talking about.

“My parents are here for Christmas but that’s because I’ve moved in with my Aunt and Uncle.”

“You live here?”

“Yes.”

“So yesterday when I was showing you around I was just making a massive fool of myself?”

“No,” David said quickly. “Not at all. I’ve only been here for a couple of weeks and I haven’t been to any of the places you took me yesterday. My Aunt and Uncle live down in Brooklyn and all I’ve really done since I’ve been here is help out in their restaurant. What you said yesterday about feeling small and lost in the city, that’s totally how I felt too.”

“So that’s okay then, is it?”

“No, it’s not okay. I know it’s not. I spent another year in Boston and soon enough everyone started leaving. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Chicago and CJ would always go on about New York, and I just figured, why not?”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jack asked. “When I asked you why you were in New York why didn’t you say that you lived here? Or at any other moment of the day?”

“The only reason you showed me round yesterday was because you thought I’d be leaving in a few days.”

“That’s not true,” Jack protested.

“Sure it is,” David replied. “It’s not exactly like you were happy to see me.”

“I hadn’t seen or heard from you for eighteen months – I was a little surprised to suddenly see you sat at my table.”

“There’s surprised and then there’s hostile.”

“I was not hostile.”

“Sure,” David said sarcastically.

“Anyway, what do you care?” Jack said losing his temper a little. “You broke up with me. You’re the one who erased me from your life. Why do you care so much?”

“You just don’t get it do you?” David said, dropping his bags to the ground. 

“What is there to get?”

“I did not erase you because I didn’t care. I erased you because once you left Boston I knew I’d blown my chance. I erased you because I didn’t trust myself not to call you. CJ would call and have all these stories about how great you all were doing, and how you had really had things sorted out here. I was waiting for him to tell me that you’d met someone else and then I would have to just forget about it, but he never said anything. I don’t know if that’s because there wasn’t anyone or because he was trying to spare my feelings.”

“David, we broke up. Yeah, I didn’t want to but you’d already made up your mind. It turned out for the best anyway. You had a life in Boston and I was moving to New York.”

“If I hadn’t broken up with you, would you have left?” David asked.

Jack thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know. Probably. Jen and Grams needed me. It wouldn’t have been an easy decision though.”

“You wouldn’t have had to choose if I had been in New York too.”

“But you weren’t,” Jack reasoned.

“I am now.”

“Do you even remember what you said to me when you dumped me?” Jack asked, frustrated. “I didn’t make you feel important. I was just going through the motions of a relationship. I told you when we first got together that I was through making my old mistakes, but you had no faith in me.”

“I was scared,” David said – slightly angrier than he had meant too. “I had never met someone like you before. I still haven’t. Sure there were things about you that made me nervous, but that was more to do with me than it was you.”

“So what right did you have blaming me for everything and to make me feel like I couldn’t even talk to someone without you reading too much into it?”

“I’m sorry, Jack. I made a mistake. What else can I say?”

“You can say ‘good night’ and just go home,” Jack said as he started walking away.

“That’s it?” David called after him.

“Merry Christmas, David.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was aware someone was in his room from the moment his door opened, and long before the blinds were opened, flooding the room was light.

“Merry Christmas,” Jen chimed as she climbed in to bed next to him.

“It’s times like these that I wish I’d stayed in Boston,” he groaned.

“Lies,” Jen laughed as she cuddled in close to his warm body. 

“Merry Christmas, Jen.”

“Grams asked me last night to make sure you got this first thing,” she said, holding up an orange. “It’s from Santa of course.”

“Unless you’re going to turn that into juice you can take it away,” he moaned, having only opened one eye to see what she was waving in front of his face.

“Grams isn’t up yet so we have plenty of time to chat before breakfast.”

“What time is it?” Jack asked, finally opening his eyes. 

“It’s six o-clock.”

Jack groaned again as he rolled over to face his friend. It was only then that he noticed the look on her face. “Wait, why do we need ‘plenty of time to chat’?”

“Don’t you want to chat?” she smiled.

“Jen?”

“Okay, so I got a call from CJ last night.”

“Of course you did,” Jack said, sitting up and rubbing his hands over his face.

“When were you going to tell me that David lives in New York?”

“I don’t know, Jen. Over dinner last night with your mom and Grams just didn’t quite seem like the right time.”

“Hmmm.”

“Look, I only found out last night so give me a break.”

“He didn’t mean to lie to you.”

“Geez, Jen, whose side are you on?”

“You’re side. I’m always on your side.”

“I know,” Jack sighed. “It really doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both said what needs to be said and it’s done.”

“Really?”

“No, probably not. I don’t know. It depends really.”

“Depends on what?” Jen asked.

“When David and I broke up, it was the right thing, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I mean, you didn’t exactly have much choice in the matter. But it meant that you were able to move here, which was definitely the right thing.”

“Exactly. So why does he think otherwise?”

“When has doing the right thing and doing what you want ever run synonymously?”

“It was his choice, Jen. He was the one who said I was a crappy boyfriend and that he deserved better.” 

“Maybe he doesn’t think you’d make a crappy boyfriend anymore.”

“Then he should have given me more of a chance back then; rather than writing me off as not good enough.”

“Jack, just to play devil’s advocate, as you know I like to, maybe the reason why your relationship broke down was because you doubted yourself too. You were too ready to believe that you weren’t good enough.”

“Maybe so. But I don’t remember feeling that way until he said it.”

“You were scared that the only reason you were with David was to prove to yourself that you could be with somebody.”

“To begin with; maybe a little – but not at the end. I liked him. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I wanted to be with him.”

“Jack, he was scared too. Maybe it’s taken him longer than it took you to come to the same conclusion.”

“So I’m supposed to give him a second chance just because he’s moved all the way to New York.”

“No, of course not. You give him a second chance if you still have feelings for him and are able to forget all the messy stuff in the middle.”

“It’s been eighteen months,” Jack reasoned. “What feelings can still be there?”

“Real ones?” Jen suggested. “Maybe you should just hear him out.”

“I did and it didn’t help.”

“Okay. That’s fine. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. But from my perspective, as much as I adore the ‘New York Jack’ – and I really do. There’s something that’s been missing for a little while. I’m not saying that I like sharing my bathroom with random men, but it has been a long time since I heard the light footsteps of someone sneaking out in the morning.”

“Are you telling me to bring men back to you mom’s house?”

Jen laughed, “No. Not at all. I’m just saying that if you’ve outgrown that period of your life then don’t be afraid to move onto the next one. If you want a relationship - with David or not, don’t let what happened between the two of you stop you for going out there and getting it. If you want to find someone who loves you then don’t be too quick to pass over the possibility of you and David. After all he moved all the way to New York and has been hovering around coffee shops in the upper west side just because CJ may have inadvertently mentioned he may find you there.”

“And will CJ be joining us today?” Jack asked.

“You’re not going to hurt him are you?” Jen replied.

“Of course not,” Jack rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to change the subject.”

“Nicely done,” Jen patted him on the shoulder. “I’m seeing him later today. He has something planned.”

“You’re going to leave me home alone with Grams on Christmas day?” 

“You have options too remember. Don’t let them pass you by.”

“Have you and CJ got some kind of bet on this or something.”

Jen smiled sweetly. “Don’t let me down. There’s a 50% cut in it for you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Grams, that was amazing,” Jen said, putting her fork down. “I can’t believe mom chose to go out for dinner with her friends.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I will need to eat again until next Christmas,” Jack groaned as he sat back in his chair.

“You’re both very welcome.”

“I hope you’re not just going to leave me with all the washing up,” Jack said to Jen. “What time is CJ picking you up?”

“I’m not going anywhere until I’ve had my presents.”

“Jennifer, may I remind you that gifts should not be an expected part of Christmas. There are many children today who shall not be receiving such things and are still grateful for what they have. Today is about family, loved ones and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and giving praise in his honour.” 

“Well said,” Jack smiled, giving Jen a smug look. 

“That’s very nice, Grams,” Jen replied. “I shall keep that in mind.”

“Thank you, Dear.”

“Now, can I have my gifts?” Jen beamed.

“What do you think, Jack? Have we left her waiting long enough?” Grams asked.

“I would say so.”

Jen leant under the table and pulled out a couple of impeccably wrapped packages and waited while Grams got up from the table to retrieve her gifts. Once returning to the room she placed a parcel in front both Jack and Jen.

“Grams, this one is from both me and Jack,” Jen explained as she passed her gift to her grandmother. “And this is for you, Jackers,” she continued as she passed him his gift.

Everyone started opening their gifts while trying to keep an eye on what everyone else was doing.

Even though Jack knew he was getting books before he had even torn off the paper he played along and showed the correct amount of surprise and excitement. “Thank you, Jen,” he smiled. 

“I raided your wish list on Amazon,” she laughed.

“That’s actually pretty clever for you, Jen.”

“I am going to accept the compliment and ignore the insult,” she replied.

Jack unwrapped his gift from Grams and was pleasantly surprised to find quite a nice sweater. “Thank you, Grams.”

“You’re welcome, Jack. I do worry that you’re not keeping warm enough.”

“I’ll make sure to wrap up.”

Grams nodded her approval.

Jen watched as Grams opened her gift before thanking her for her the purse she had given her, but the whole time was looking for her gift from Jack.

“Well, that’s the gift exchange done for another year,” Jack said standing up from the table. “Time to get on with the clearing up.”

“Jack, if you dare leave this room without giving me my gift I will actually kill you.”

“What are you talking about? I gave you your gift,” he lied, still heading for the door.

“I’m warning you, Jack. You take one more step and you’ll have to sleep with one eye open.”

Jack stopped as he reached the door and turned to face her. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a beautifully wrapped gift. “You looking for this?”

Jen jumped up from her seat and charged towards him, grabbing the gift. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me until you have seen what it is,” Jack laughed, as she returned to the table and started ripping off the paper.

She looked down at the delicately engraved wooden box in her hand and looked up at Jack as though the look on his face may give away what she was going to find inside.

“Just open it,” he encourage, starting to feel nervous.

She carefully lifted the lid of the box to reveal a beautiful, silver bracelet with an emerald stone.

“Jack,” Jen said softly, unsure what to say.

“It’s an emerald. It’s your birthstone,” he explained, still unsure what she thought of it.

“You can’t afford this,” she said, shaking her head.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Jack, I love it.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” she said getting up and giving him a hug. “It’s gorgeous. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I never should have doubted you.”

“I can’t take total credit for it but I’m glad you like it.”

“I would thank that other person personally but I think maybe I’ll leave you to do that for me.”

“There’s really no need. You can just show your gratitude by doing the washing up,” Jack teased.

“You wash and I’ll dry,” Jen offered. “I don’t want to get my bracelet wet.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had never really been a massive fan of Christmas but this one was turning out to be particularly tedious. No matter what conversation was taking place, what food was being served, or what movie everyone had settled down to in front of, all he could think about was David.

He was thinking about it so much that he was sure he was about to go crazy. All he could remember was how he felt the day David broke up with him. He remembered how if felt like he had been punched in the stomach repeatedly. He had never really been in a relationship that he had fought for but the last few days of their relationship it had felt like David had him jumping through hoops, only to knock him down at the last hurdle.

He wondered why he had never really had the urge to call David after that night. Wondered if that was clear indication that maybe his feelings for the other man were not as strong as he had assumed. Looking back he really could not remember what he had been doing to keep his mind from the gloom – and then he remembered. The reason why he was in New York. The reason why he had left Boston so quickly. The pain of being dumped was trumped only a few days later by the pain and the fear of finding out about Grams being ill. It suddenly dawned on him that he never even told David that he was leaving.

There was a soft knock on the door before it was opened enough for Jack to see Grams’ face appear. “May I come in, Dear.”

“Of course,” he replied, sitting up and making room for her to sit down.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Everything’s fine,” he assured. “I just think I might be coming down with a cold or something.”

“You poor thing. Would you like me to make you some tea?” Grams asked, touching the back on her hand to his forehead. “You do feel a little warm.”

“No. That’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“As long as it’s just a cold and nothing more serious. Heart ache can do all sorts of things to you,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Have you been talking to Jen?” 

“Jennifer may have mentioned something about a friend of yours from Boston.”

“I should have known she’d tell you,” Jack smiled. “It’s nothing to worry about, Grams.”

“I do worry. I worry a lot. You are like a grandson to me and you have always proven yourself to be selfless when it comes to me and Jennifer. Sometimes it is easy to forget all the things you have given up for us.”

“I haven’t given up anything. You have been so kind to me for so many years. There is nothing I will ever be able to do to repay you for everything.”

“You make my granddaughter happy, and you make me happy. You moved to New York without a second thought of what you would be leaving behind. Maybe it’s time you take back some of the things you said good bye to.”

“Grams, David and I were over before I even found out that you were ill. Moving here did not cause the break up.”

“Maybe not,” Grams said, taking hold of his hand. “But did it hinder you getting back together?”

“It doesn’t change that I can’t forget the way I felt when it was all over. He made me feel like it was all my fault.”

“Just remember how you felt then and how maybe a little bit of compassion would have gone a long way to making you feel better. If you think you can afford him some compassion now it would make a very powerful Christmas gift.”

“Is Jen giving you a cut of her winnings too?” Jack joked.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean,” Grams smiled. “All I’m saying is that if you hear the poor boy out it will probably make you both feel a lot better.”

“You’re probably right.”

“After all, Jennifer is out with CJ. I’m sure you have better ways to spending your Christmas evening than with me at the church.” Grams gave his hand one last squeeze before standing and heading towards the door. “Merry Christmas, Jack.”

“Merry Christmas, Grams.”

Once the door had closed Jack began to pace the room. Now he had no idea what he was feeling, other than guilty for leaving things with David the way he had the night before. There was no denying that his feelings for David still existed. He just did not know what those feelings could become. They did not have long enough together to really explore where it could all be headed and this made Jack nervous.

Trying not to over think it, he picked up his phone and dialed David’s number and waited for him to answer. After ten seconds it went to his answer machine.

“Hi David. It’s Jack. I… I have something I really want you to see. If you can meet me at the top of the Rockefeller Center tonight at 9 that would be great. I understand if not. Ohh and… Merry Christmas.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack had walked around the top level of the Rockefeller Center six times before finally taking a seat on the wooden bench, overlooking the direction that David would come from - if he came. It was now 9:15 and Jack really was not expecting the other man to show up. In his mind he said he would only wait an hour, or until David let him know he was not coming, but in reality he knew he could potentially be sat in the cold for a long time. At least he had his sweater from Grams to keep him a little warm.

By 9:30 Jack had settled on the fact that this was a bad idea. He wrapped his jacket tighter around his body and leant back on the bench. He wanted nothing more than to call Jen and tell her how completely wrong she was about everything, and blame her for him being seventy floors up a building in the freezing Christmas wind. However, he did not want to ruin her Christmas. There was no point them both being miserable. 

Everything with David was a complete mess. Jack had always hated the way David had broken up with him. He hated the way he had made him feel – the way he had made him doubt himself so completely. More than anything he hated the fact that he walked away without fighting. But he was not willing to fight for someone who had given up on him. Then suddenly David was in New York and it seemed as though he had not given up at all. David had asked him to stay in touch, and he never had. Neither of then had taken the time or made the effort to pick up the phone, or write an email. Could he really be angry at David for not doing something that he had not done either?

By 9:45 Jack had just about had enough of mentally beating himself up. His hands and feet were totally numb and he was pretty sure his ears had already dropped off in an attempt to escape to warmer conditions. He had had enough. He stood up from his bench and walked to the ledge, looking over at the whole of Manhattan lit up in it festive glory. The streets were still bustling as people went to their way to one of the numerous parties taking place across the city. 

He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the city and imagined he was just another one of the people on the ground that were enjoying their Christmas. Suddenly he remembered what David had told him about Christmas wishes and realised that he had not made one for himself. As he made one he laughed to himself at the lunacy of what he was doing. He did not even believe in Christmas wishes and David’s wish for his understanding certainly had not come true the night before.

By now it was 10 o-clock. There was no point staying any longer. As he was about to leave he heard fast paced footsteps coming in his direction.

“Jack,” a breathless voice called, causing him to turn around.

“David,” he smiled slightly, wondering why he was here now.

“You’re still here,” he said, trying to catch his breath.

“I was just leaving.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get your message until just after nine.”

“And you ran all the way here?” Jack asked, noticing his breathlessness.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a cab on Christmas day?”

“I’m glad you came.”

“I’m a little unsure why we’re here,” David admitted, looking around at only a couple of people as foolish as them to be where they were in the cold.

“Come with me,” Jack directed as he began to walk around to the opposite side of the building.

David fell in step with him as they walked around in silence. Finally Jack stopped and pointed out into the darkness.

“What am I looking at?” David asked.

“The Empire State Building,” Jack replied.

“Well, yeah, I can see that,” David said confused. “Why?”

“Everyone when they come to New York wants to see the Empire State Building because it is one of the most beautiful things to see in the city. But they make the mistake of going to the top and admiring the surroundings when the one thing they wanted to see most of all is the only thing they cannot actually see,” Jack explained. “But from here you can see it – all lit up, in all it’s glory.”

David said nothing as he stared out at the building Jack was talking about.

“Sometimes people look so hard for something that they end of totally missing it. They need to take a step back to truly appreciate it. If you look at it from a different angle you may actually find what you’re looking for.”

Still David said nothing as he turned to finally face Jack.

“I just thought that maybe we needed a different angle.”

“So who in this scenario is the Empire State Building?” David asked.

“Both of us – together. We could potentially be that great together, but if we’re looking in the wrong direction, or are continually focusing on trivial things then we will never see the potential.” 

“I think you made your point quite nicely,” David smiled.

“Really?” Jack said nervously.

“Yes,” David nodded. “And this is a beautiful angle to view things from. I so nearly didn’t come tonight but I’m suddenly glad that I did.”

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“I think what you said was fair. I should have been honest with you straight away.”

“I’m glad you weren’t,” Jack admitted. “Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity to remember how much I enjoy spending time with you.”

“I’ve had a good time too. Even while watching you stress about shopping.”

“I got you a gift,” Jack said, pulling a package out from inside his jacket. “It’s nothing big before you get excited.”

“You shouldn’t have,” David said opening it, and the laughing when he saw what he was holding. “A used copy of ‘Interview with the Vampire’?” he asked.

“Read the inside cover,” Jack prompted.

“This time I don’t want to lead you on. I am not one of the un-dead. I’m just a normal man. Hopefully this will tame your ‘Lestat de Lioncourt’ fantasy enough for us both to live in the real world. Merry Christmas, Jack,” David read. “You’ve got a good memory.”

“I know you’d probably prefer the DVD,” Jack blushed.

“No,” David stopped him. “This is perfect. It puts my gift to you to shame though. I didn’t even wrap it.”

“When did you have time to get me a gift?” Jack asked, surprised.

“Yesterday,” David smiled, “while you were contemplating hiding inside rails of sweaters.”

David reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small folded item. He unfolded it to reveal a woollen hat. He stepped closer to Jack until he was so close that they were almost touching. He could feel Jack’s warm breath as he reached out and put the hat on Jack’s head, pulling it over the tops of his ears. Jack smiled as his eyes caught David’s. “I don’t want you catching a cold,” he smiled, “Merry Christmas.” David leaned closer until their lips finally touched.

As the kiss deepened Jack remembered everything that had been good about their relationship. The kissing had always been good. Everything they did together had always been good. They just did not always manage to find the time for just the two of them amongst the craziness of college. David had been right – neither of them had made the other man feel important enough.

“Is this insane?” Jack asked, his forehead against David’s.

“Probably,” David laughed.

“Feels pretty good though, right?”

“Feels better than before.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to avoid the pitfalls of the past?” Jack asked seriously. 

“I think we’ve already proven that we can. Tonight you’ve made me feel like the most important person in New York City.”

“That’s because you are.”

“I’m so glad I wished for your understanding,” he smiled.

“Are you using this as proof that Christmas wishes really do come true?”

“You had better not be mocking Christmas magic,” David warned. “I think this is a pretty good indication of its power.”

“So if it wasn’t Christmas, this wouldn’t be happening?” Jack asked.

“We’ll never know,” David replied, kissing the other man again. “Did you make a wish yet?”

“I did actually. Just before you arrived when I thought you weren’t coming.”

“What did you wish for?” David asked. “If you wished for a hat then I rest my case.”

“No, I didn’t,” Jack laughed. “Considering you used one of your wishes up on getting us into the jewellery store yesterday, I made a wish for you to have the best Christmas ever.”

“See,” David smiled, “Christmas wishes always come true.”

**The End.**


End file.
